Laughter - the Best Birthday Present

So last night was Elliott’s 12th birthday. Roger and I took Elliott and his friend Keith out for dinner – where they got adult menus and adult-sized glasses of soda and ate like… well, okay they still ate like 12-year old boys. Then we took them to the game arcade at the mall, where they spent $40 worth of game tokens in about eleven minutes. No actually it was a good 90 minutes of fun, and then they thoroughly irritated the attendant who just wanted to be anywhere else on a Friday night by discussing how to spend the 1250 tickets they earned. I had no trouble being patient - I had lemonade, cookies, and cheesy popcorn, and the massage chairs are right outside the arcade. Whoever set that up is a genius. And a mom, I’m sure.
Oh, yes, sorry – the back story here is that I am pregnant, due in June, and deliriously happy about baby #4. Roger is so happy he can hardly let my belly out of his sight, and he gallantly tolerates my cravings and mood swings. He even has sympathy cravings and comes home with chocolate Zingers and Pringles, which he will sometimes share. Okay, back to last night…
Roger, the nocturnal one in our house, wanted to stop for coffee on the way home, so the boys wore their giant green sunglasses and glo stick necklaces into the convenience store. I got a gigantic bottle of water, and when we got back in the car I gulped down half of it and asked Roger to remind me not to leave the house without water anymore. Elliott asked why, and here – in screenplay form for more entertainment value – is the conversation that followed.

Elliott: Why?
Me: Well, I get really thirsty, but it also makes the contractions stop.
Roger: Really?
Keith: What’s a contraction?
Elliott and Roger: Um, uh, well, it’s… uh…y’know…
Me: It is when you combine two words and use an apostrophe to replace some of the letters.
Elliott: (laughing hysterically)
Roger: Yeah, haven’t you noticed that she says, “is not” instead of “isn’t” when she takes a drink?
Me: (laughing hysterically, which causes more Braxton-Hicks contractions)
Keith: Ohhhhhhh! No I hadn’t noticed that, that’s cool – Natalie, drink some water and say something!
Roger: I think I’m gonna have to pull over…
Keith: Elliott, breathe, dude! Roger, I don’t think Natalie’s breathing either…

We need another box of tissues in the car now. And a bottle of water.