So for a lot of reasons I won’t go into, Roger and Echo and
I had to go to Lake Worth, Florida to get some business taken care of. We did a lot of careful planning (ie: arguing about stuff), purchased snack foods in bulk to avoid
expensive stops at convenience stores, chose the most direct route and set a
budget, and packed our things. Well, I packed anyway. Fate watched us do all this and laughed and
laughed and laughed.
Friday, July 12 – Departure Day
We planned to leave at 9am, so I got up at 7 and showered
and packed my bathroom things. Fate
giggled. I woke Roger, who growled at me
and went back to sleep. I threw his bag at him and got no response.
8am: My mother in law called to let us know that the nephew
who was going to travel with us and let us borrow his car was in the emergency
room. I priced rental cars online, went
through the bid process several times, and then required CPR when the results
came back. After some phone calls
between 9:30 and 10:30am: it was settled that we could still borrow the car,
but would need to get the oil changed before we left. And have the motor mounts looked at. And perhaps get a new tire. Roger starts packing.
11am: Echo did not
want to get in her car seat, so while Roger convinced her that we were going to
the beach and it would be fun, I fed the pets, called the pet sitter again,
unplugged everything, and walked through the house praying. When I was done, Echo was still sitting in
the driveway screaming. I pulled out the
arm floaties I got her and handed her the bottle (yes, she’s 2 and still has
her bottle, don’t judge me until you’ve met her) and blankie and asked her
nicely to come with us to the beach. She
finally agreed to let Daddy buckle her in, and we headed to my mother in law’s
house.
11:30am: We stopped to find the bottle which she had thrown,
I refilled it with milk from the stash that was supposed to last us at least
half the actual road trip, and we got back on the road.
12:30pm: we arrive at the mother in laws to discover that
the nephew is home from the hospital and would very much like to go with us. He
is not packed. Echo tells everyone she is going to the beach over and over and
over again. I secretly hope that the
repetition of her little excited voice will open a time portal.
5pm : We take off in the nephew’s car and head east toward
St. Louis. Fate has the hiccups.
6pm: Just outside of Kansas City, we stop again to refill the
bottle (I am now out of milk for the trip), throw away the snack wrappers,
change a diaper, and the nephew decides that he is not well enough for the trip
after all.
6:45pm: We drop the nephew and all his stuff off at a friend’s
apartment 20 miles back and take off again.
“I go beeeech!” even spoken 1,746,319
times by an adorable toddler is not opening up any sort of time travel
option for us. We are not going to be
able to get the oil changed or anything else done at this point today, so I
start looking for WalMarts along the route.
I am not disappointed.
10pm: Roger is finally sleepy, Echo has been asleep and so
have I, and we stop in O’Fallon, MO. We
spend $12 on milk and coffee and a quart of oil and $40 on gas. I tell Roger I don’t want to know how fast he’s
been driving, and that he should probably just go to sleep and let me drive the
way I want to. He warns me that I should at least be heading south before the
sun comes up because he didn’t bring a welding hood. He has a point. Just as we get back on the road, Echo wakes
up. She is horribly disappointed that a:
we are not at the beeeech yet, and 2: there is no video player in the nephew’s
car. We change her diaper on the side of
the highway and are very relieved to find out its not poopy. Plastic sacks don’t have much in the way of
smell guard in a small car.
3:30am: I am praying for signs for I57 south because the sun
is already creeping up over the horizon, but blessedly Echo and Roger have
slept through the night. I have to pee
and I would love a cup of coffee. I tell
myself that as soon as I hit I57, I will stop.
Fate wakes up.
5am: I missed I57, apparently in the fog. Roger is driving and I am recalculating the
route. We have coffee, milk, breakfast sandwiches
(not in the budget) and a clean diaper on the baby, who is again lamenting the
lack of video equipment. 734 “I watch
Mickey?”s does not open a time portal,
either.
9am: We are outside of Lexington, KY, which should only have
added 3 hours to the drive time. Google
Maps does not have children. There is
not enough sunscreen in the world to protect us from the UV rays blasting in
the windshield at this point. All I want
right now is a portable DVD player and a shower. We still have not gotten the oil changed.
12pm: Having already stopped six times for various things,
we are still not even to Knoxville, TN but are at least heading south. Once we get to
Knoxville, we will head southwest on I75 just in time for the sun to start
going down. We are both regretting not
buying a portable DVD and prescription sunglasses when we had the chance. Echo is crying because we are not at the
beach yet, and she is having Mickey Mouse Clubhouse withdrawal. Fate has a stitch in her side from laughing
so hard, and she has cried off all her mascara.
I have not been able to sleep, and Roger is tired again.
4:30 pm: Fate
apparently found someone else to torture, because the last few hours have been
quite peaceful. The signs say Atlanta 40
miles, and I wake Roger up because I refuse to drive through Atlanta, even on a
Saturday, at this time of day. In Knoxville we got the laptop from the trunk,
found a Dora video in Echo’s backpack, and plugged it into the car charger. It has been balanced precariously on a stack
of stuff so that she can see it, and it was an okay substitute for Mickey. I can just reach the replay button safely,
but I resist the third time. I’m a
little tired of Swiper stealing stuff, frankly.
9pm: We are already to Gainesville, I slept the whole time
and so did Echo. We did not turn off the
computer, and the fuse in the car charger has blown. Roger did not deserve the quiet time, and I
vow to make him change diapers for the rest of the trip as revenge. We are sick of beef jerky and cheese sticks so we stop in Gainesville for dinner. Since we have been careful with fast food and
only gotten drinks on our stops to this point, we spring for a truck stop
diner. I have a BLT that is moderately acceptable
and Roger has a burger. When her chicken
strips arrive, Echo announces that she wants nuggets instead. It takes 20 minutes to convince her that she
does indeed have nuggets, and she takes one bite. We get a to-go box.
1am: We have run out of gas on the side of the highway 10
minutes from our destination. In my defense,
the tank shows 1/8 and the light is not on.
Our hosts come to rescue us and are very kind about it. I am too tired to even think about standing
up for a shower, but Echo won’t settle down so she gets a bath. I am jealous, but still not enough to stand
up that long.
July 14 – The Morning after our arrival
I want to stay here forever rather than drive back. We take
Echo to the beach and she has a blast. We left the floaties in the van at my
mother in law’s so we go to WalMart to get more, spend $30 on floaties, beach
toys, milk and bottles of water, and a swimsuit for me (yep, I forgot to pack
it), I burn my feet on the sand, get
1000 mosquito bites, and decide that home has it’s benefits. Plus I would miss
my other kids. A little.
July 15 – a day of rest
Our business is pretty much concluded, we go to another
beach and pick up shells and find a disgusting sea sponge that Roger wants to
keep, and spend the rest of the day napping because it is too hot to do
anything else. I miss my own bed. The
pet sitter has left messages saying he is unable to keep coming over as he is
having surgery. I call our neighbors and
leave a message asking them to feed the pets. I don’t hear back, but the cats
can mouse and the dogs eat road kill anyway, so I hope they will be fine.
July 16 - Departure
day
It is raining sideways.
The gym equipment we need to put in the back of the truck for the trip
home could potentially get ruined, which means the point of this whole trip is
moot. We load up anyway, wring out
our clothes, and get on the road. We have to stop hourly to change diapers
because Echo is pooping today – she alternates days. The bright spots in this are getting to see
my cousins in Daytona, my aunt in Fort Walton Beach, and of course, getting
home. Eventually. At this point death would be okay too.
July 17
After a wonderful night of rest and great conversation and a
nice shower in Daytona, we are back on the road. I10 in Florida is a lot like I70 west through
Kansas – snore… If Roger is in front of
me, Echo says, “I see Daddy!” at the top of her little lungs every 14
seconds. If he is behind me, she says, “I
can’t see Daddy!” equally as often. We
stop three times to let her ride with Daddy, then me, then Daddy again. The snacks are gone, and the budget is shot.
Gas is ridiculous down here. I want to
go home. The neighbors call to ask where
the dog food is. I still have enough
heart left to be a little concerned about my dogs. Well, actually I’m more worried about the
condition of my house.
July 18
A wonderful night with my Aunt in Fort Walton Beach and we are back on the road. I am out of patience and money is short, and I tell Roger that if we do not get to the Missouri state line by the time we both need sleep, I will never change another diaper as long as I live. We make it to Sikeston, MO by 9:30pm. The Motel 6 is not bad. Echo would like to know when we are going to go the beach.
A wonderful night with my Aunt in Fort Walton Beach and we are back on the road. I am out of patience and money is short, and I tell Roger that if we do not get to the Missouri state line by the time we both need sleep, I will never change another diaper as long as I live. We make it to Sikeston, MO by 9:30pm. The Motel 6 is not bad. Echo would like to know when we are going to go the beach.
July 19 – the Home stretch
I have never been so happy to see familiar gas prices and be
able to get UNSWEET tea in my life. Echo
again needs us to stop every hour and change a diaper (it’s another pooping
day) and switch cars, but we make it across the state to Joplin, where we pick
up my step-son and head home. The dogs
have survived, the cats are disdainful, and the only casualties are a stuffed
animal and a board book.
July 20
We have to drive north to get our van and drop off the
car. None of us want to get in the
car. We argue about who is going to
drive. Echo wants to know if we are
going to the beach. I put her floaties on her and tell her to go play in the puddles in the driveway. Beach a la Missouri. She’s perfectly happy. We eventually make it
up north and I apologize profusely for not getting the oil changed. I don’t feel quite so bad however, when
Roger comes back in the house and announces that the van won’t start.
It’s out of gas. The moral of this story is if you can afford to fly - DO IT!
